


not so innocent fan fiction

by Kazuto



Series: Innocent RvB Fanfictions(THESE ARE JOKE FANFICTIONS PEOPLE) [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, heads up this is a joke fic!! we aren’t promoting ANY of the shit in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:45:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazuto/pseuds/Kazuto
Summary: the aftermath of tucker's pregnancy dilemma, he ends up falling in love with Simmons owo





	not so innocent fan fiction

“I wanna be tracer,” said junior. “im already tracer uwu, ” said tuckfuck, shit sorry uwu, i mean wash’s bottom as he pushed out the final child, his nipples pulsing as he lied on the floor. 

 

“I thought childbirth was supposed to be easier the second time round.” he huffed from his vape, his juul, like a millenial. “Well it’s not, you bootyhole eater uwu.” Twucker snaps back in gay twink to himself. 

 

“Blargh- Father!! You’re delusional, please lay your head down!~ Honk!” Junior whipped his head at Tex, “You see what you did to my papa, you crazy bitch? *something in Sangheili* You can’t just  **_BLARHGH_ ** push out 10 babies all at once!”

 

Tex grabs the child by the throat, “Fuck you and-”

 

He rapes her right from her armor. The black protection no use against his mighty thighs, “hnnnn~” she moans. She then fucking dies.

 

“Can i join 2? Bow  chickjnnnja  bow wow uwu”

 

Caboose pops from behind a rock, “uno is 2 is spanish hecc- I learned that from Lopez, my daddy!” he begins countin’ on his fingers, “ Dos, Tres, Dos, Uno, Ocho, Que pasa?, Peruvian, Cinco!! Ochos my favourite. Ocho! Ocho… OCHO?”

 

Wash’s fingers looks puzzled, “Where di u coming from?”

 

Tucker Sighs, “Where did u Cum FromM uwu?”

 

“Where did i come from?” Junior asks over the panting church in the corner.

 

“Well, that’s a talk for another ti-.”

 

“YOur daddy inserted his **_e g g s_ ** in your mom's sausage.” GRIF says being resurrected  by piss. Chink chink simmons fucker, simmons arises from the gay grave, the sword still stuck in his (stom)DICK, hes cyborg bits a’ tinglin and a’ wigglin.

 

“Owo sounds fun!!” Junior exclaIMED!!! Many exclamation points at the end for some reason, a sexual reason.

 

Simmons looks around in confusion, still naked, his alpha pheromones leakings all over, “what the fuck? WHY IS THERE A SWORD IN MY (stom)DICK-”

 

Felix falls down, his silky rat tail falling down after him, ankles shattering, “ALRIGHT GAMERS, Let’s get this bread homos!”

 

“Ya YEEEEET” Caboose does the fortnite default dance, mouth open in a reply, he has a tongue!!, unsheathing Freckles from his armpit, “BEGONE BITCH”

 

Freckles’ clip explodes pienis, speeding right toward Felix’s old man forehead lines. wrinkly one inch pee pee

 

Tucker sighs uwu sadly, pulling out his diary from neck crease. His left hands falls gently on his thicc, joocy, booty cheeks as he thinks of what to write. All his friends are ignoring him, his children growing up so fast and having wives and kids in like 10 minutes. He dick can’t even get up anymore! What has his life come to! This entry will surely be a depressing one :(.

 

‘Lol uwu functkona;’ he writes solemnly ‘My dick big xD.’ He shakes his head, erasing the xD at the end, instead replacing it with an ‘ecks dee,’ his life to painful for emojis unu.

 

He gets still brooding about his children growing up without him. “My 69 inch pee pee floopy and my nipples are no longer sensitive… How can I recover from this tragedy?? They pulse no more :( umu.’ 

 

Its true. The pulsing had stopped just minutes ago, and he was scared they’d never throb again.  “TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA nipples” his phone rang, worsing his mood even further.[It’s okay reader, i made them adults so its not child porn so its okay if i talk about their big mutant tits xD they’re 14 in this one uwu.]

 

The ring tone draws his friends attention back to him. ANd they look at him in gay disappointment. He catches Simmons eye, the nerd’s cheeks blushing up a storm, “D-did i hear nipples?”

**Author's Note:**

> you know what its time to do owo


End file.
